Originally published in the Globe and Mail, “Ontario minor hockey players to get talks on gender diversity, expression” © Gabriele Roy, Associated Press, AUGUST 24, 2018
Before they polish their power plays and develop their defensive strategies, minor hockey players in Ontario will be getting a pre-season chat about gender identity and gender expression next month.
The Ontario Hockey Federation, which oversees the majority of minor hockey in the province, said it has made it mandatory for its coaches to discuss the issues with players in an effort to make everyone feel welcome.
“This is about inclusiveness and respect,” said Phil McKee, executive director of the OHF.
While hockey coaches in Canada already receive training on respect and gender inclusivity, the OHF said coaches in Ontario will now have to discuss issues such as preferred pronoun use and the importance of respecting an individual’s confidentiality with their players as the season begins in mid-September.
“We simply want to make sure that everyone feels included in hockey and can participate in the game in a safe and comfortable environment,” said McKee.
The move comes after the settlement of a case brought before the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario in 2013 by Jesse Thompson, a transgender player who was 17 at the time.
He told the tribunal that he was outed when asked to use the dressing room that aligned with his birth gender – female – instead of the gender he identifies with. The settlement has led to new directives in the years since, with the pre-season chat being the latest.
As part of the new directive, the OHF said coaches have been provided with a checklist, prepared by LGBTQ advocacy group Egale Canada, of matters to discuss with their players and suggestions on how to best approach the topics.
Larry Pattison, a father to three children who used to play hockey and a former coach himself, said he welcomes the new OHF directive.
“I think it is fantastic, especially considering that this may not be taught in school for a little while under this government,” he said, referring to the Progressive Conservative government’s move to repeal the province’s modernized sex-ed curriculum while it conducts consultations on a new document.
“As a father, I want my kids to come out of any education or any time on a team sport being inclusive and kind and understanding of everyone in the community,” said Pattison, who also a trustee on the Hamilton-Wentworth District School Board.
“Some people like to be called a different name when you are talking about gender pronouns … We need to be accepting of that and open to it.”
The North Toronto Hockey Association said it was looking forward to implementing the pre-season chats.
“This falls within our mandate as a minor hockey association to teach players not only hockey skills, but also respect,” said association president Claudio Tarulli.
Some, however, questioned whether volunteer coaches were the best people to conduct such discussions with players.
“(Gender diversity) is something that has to be addressed to a certain extent, but the difficulty is in asking our volunteers to do it,” said Dan Bailey Jr., president of Canadian Tire Hanover Falcons, a hockey organization in Ontario.
Bailey Jr. said he worried that the new discussions could discourage some from volunteering to coach.
“Maybe if they had a go-to person in the federation that addressed the situation it would be better, he said. ”But to have the coaches do this on an individual basis, I think they may not get the results that they are hoping for.”
See what Coach-2-Coach is all about!
What techniques do you use to broach sensitive topics with your athletes during pre-season chats?
Share your tips and best practices!
Craig Freedle – Soccer – Toronto – 12 years
“…I say right from the beginning, everyone here is an equal. I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, or what you believe. That is your right, and when we are on the field together we are all a team supporting each other as a family. I also make the effort every day to get to know my athletes a little bit more and letting them know my door is always open for them to chat about anything. We also do a comment dropbox that athletes can leave a note about how they are feeling and leave an anonymous note about what they would like to see more out of me as the coach.”
Kyle Campbell – Hockey – Guelph – 10+ years
“…While this is 100% supported by myself and my staff it truly is not fair to ask these coaches to do this. We simply took an online course to better understand things ourselves. This by no means makes us capable, prepared, or knowledgeable enough to teach this conversation to our young kids. They all need to know that we’re here as coaches for them. To believe in them and for them to trust us while they figure out who they are. However, after taking this online course – I don’t feel as though I can answer their questions properly. To give them the right answers. This needs to be done by people with some training and understanding of what these kids are going through. I’ve never been in their shoes. I don’t understand as much as I want to – so let’s get them the right people to talk to. Not just me because I took an online course for an hour or so.”
Sean Ferguson ChPC, RGP – Swimming – Region of Waterloo
“…Well the comment I would like to leave is regarding doing on-going chats, and not just doing a ‘one and done’ type of chat with your athletes; that ‘one and done’ approach is part of the problem (reminds me of years ago in health class, when the teacher would quickly go over the sensitive topics, and then never return to them in the course of a semester). So I hope that there are ongoing chats: before, during and after a season – with, of course, appropriate language & exercises, to address sensitive topics in sport. This education also needs to go beyond the scope of just coaches and athletes, as board members and parents need to go through some kind of ongoing educational exercise as well so that the environment and culture of your sports club reflect this new initiative.”
Joe Benedetti – Semi-retired Softball Coach – Hamilton – 20+ years
“…It is always an important and difficult decision when an authority decides to make something mandatory – as hockey has done on this issue. Of course, the vast majority of coaches are volunteers and volunteers ALWAYS have a choice, – yes a tough one, – but they could resign if they feel strongly about the mandatory policy. I understand the arguments for being pro-active on this topic and many others, but at the same time, I think the topic is best dealt with when a coach is asked by one or more of their players, parents, or any stakeholder specifically about a topic. This then gives the coach the ability to use their own words to express their feelings and beliefs in a more meaningful and respectful way. Players know when a coach is “reading” someone else’s words.”
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With Safe Sport top-of-mind for us all these days, there is a lot to consider when it comes to the health and safety of the children we coach. One of the most popular and effective rules we can follow as coaches to ensure that we are never placing them or ourselves at risk is The Rule of Two.
The Rule of Two states that there should be at least two adults and two children present at all times, in every situation, including:
The Gold Standard calls for “two screened and NCCP trained or certified coaches” to be present, however, the most important thing is that there are at least two adults present and ideally, at least two athletes/participants, to protect minor athletes in potentially vulnerable situations.
As coaches, we know that it’s not always easy or convenient to follow this Rule, yet it is critical to ensuring athlete and participant safety in sport.
Soccer Nova Scotia has produced a short video explaining the Rule of Two. Please click on the image below to watch:
How has your Club or Organization successfully implemented the Rule of Two? Can you share any challenges that were overcome in the process?
Can you share a situation where you had to be creative or problem-solve to follow the Rule of Two?
Adam Ziegler, Ontario Football Alliance – Football – Cambridge – 39 years
“…The Ontario Football Alliance (PSO) fully supports the Rule of Two. Coaches are encouraged that when speaking with athletes in closed-door meetings, watching tape, travelling or during training sessions, two coaches should always be present when speaking to an athlete(s). That athlete should also have a teammate present to offer support and to protect the vulnerability of our athletes. In football we are fortunate to have an abundance of coaches, a manager, an athletic therapist or parents to assist us in fulfilling this mandate.
Parents leave their children in our care and much like the relationship of teachers and students this rule of two should always be followed to preserve athletes’ and coaches’ own protection. Documenting these conversations is always a good idea but policies such as requiring a police check offer another layer of protection. Coaches, parents and volunteers should be screened through police checks, and preferably a vulnerability sector search.
Unfortunately, this is not always possible. In a past scenario, a team regularly had to use coaches to transport players to games. Usually four or five players in a vehicle with a coach with a parent picking up the child after a game.
A female athlete was to be picked up by a parent after a game. The parent never showed and everyone else had left in a rush. Being about an hour from home and in a rural area this became problematic.
The two male coaches and a female athlete found themselves in an ethical and moral dilemma regarding the Rule of Two. The parents were called and the parents informed the coaches their only car broke down. Each coach had their own car at this away game.
The solution was decided that the athlete would drive in one car in the back seat of a coach’s car. The other coach followed the first coach until the athlete was dropped off to provide corroboration of the route and time to transport the athlete. The female athlete was asked to call one of her parents as she was being driven and to talk to her mother during the entire drive. Both coaches dropped the child off at her home with no issues or complaints. The parents and coach talked about the dilemma and how to prevent it in the future.
After this situation, the team was told that in the future that if the parent was late showing up, the child would be sent with another player preventing two coaches from being left alone with a player. Even though families have busy schedules, players and families were asked to buy into the new procedure to eliminate events like the one described. The procedure of following the car was used in policing when transporting a female prisoner by a sole officer in a cruiser.
Having had this discussion with parents, another event like the one described never occurred again. In hindsight, these coaches were placed in a situation that should have been avoided.
In closing, we would encourage all coaches and organizations to embrace the ‘Power of Two’ to safeguard our most precious resource, our children and ensure the NCCP philosophy of Do No Harm is safeguarded by having two coaches/parent/volunteer when speaking with an athlete and allow the athlete to have a friend present to serve as a witness and offer support. As NSO work towards Sport Canada’s direction of NSO and PSO developing policies to keep Athlete’s Safe, The Power OF Two should be embraced by all organizations and coaches.
As a PSO, we would strongly encourage our Football Coaches not to be transporting their players.”
Benjamin Li – Basketball, Baseball, Multi-Sport Camps – Mississauga – 3 years
“…Working for the City of Mississauga for programs or summer camp, it’s tough to have 2 Coaches/Leaders available at times, the ratio being 15 kids to 1 coach. We are trained to have children go to the washroom in a buddy system (minimum 2 kids) with at least one camp leader outside the washroom doors and optionally 1 supervisor as well. In these situations, the best way to keep the children safe is to check the bathroom premises first of any community members or individuals occupying the washroom and if cleared, allow the children to enter the washroom. The leaders are then to provide a time limit. In other situations where there are a small # of participants in the program, combining programs or camps is a good solution to ensure at least 2 leaders present and bigger groups are created. Though not exactly The Rule of Two, these are some of my experiences on how to provide children with a healthy and safe space to play sports.”
Mike Miller – Soccer – Milton – 25+ years
“For many of the years that I have coached, I have rarely had an assistant coach. (I coach recreational players, even though I am the Club Head Coach.) This sometimes creates a challenge for the Rule of 2. During games, the player responsible for the half-time snack also brings their mother and she is the designated “Team Mom” for the game. If the player’s parents were separated and the dad had custody, I would ask one of the other moms if they would like to be team mom for that game if the scheduled player’s mom was unable to make it to the game. On occasion, match officials have mistaken the team mom as a spectator and have asked them to go to the other side of the field where the spectators are. I have had to clarify the situation to them. All but one “got it” right away and as for the one that didn’t, I asked them if they wanted to explain to their Club Head Referee why they didn’t want me to follow a best practice recommended by our Provincial Sport Organization. Apparently, that would have been more trouble than it was worth and the team mom stayed put.
When travelling to other communities, if a player was in need of a ride, I would always insist that a parent came along. My child would be in the back and we would pick up the parent and player needing a ride next. Any others would be picked up after the parent was onboard. On the return trip, we would drop off the player with their parent last before heading home.
One time, a game was called seven minutes after the start on account of lightning. I noticed that the youth official was standing out in the storm waiting for their ride. I also had two players on my team that were without parental accompaniment. I put all of them in the first two rows of my van with my daughter (my van has three rows of seats.) I opened up the rear of my van, and sat on the bumper under the door in plain sight and waited for the parents to arrive as there was no second adult to help me.”
Coach Ann – Athletics – South Western Ontario – Very Many
“In my sport, there is a blend of adult and younger athletes so we are lucky to have more adults available. However, I do not believe it should the role of an adult athlete to be a monitor of the coach for behaviour, that is an unfair responsibility when they need to focus on their development. That said, any athlete should feel ok talking about and telling others about anything that makes them uncomfortable. The mentorship of older athletes travelling and competing together helps with that a lot. The younger athlete learns more about what to expect from interactions with older, experienced athletes.
My strategy is to have a parent with me as my second. Again, here I am lucky because I have several parents who are engaged in the coaching process and want to learn about the sport and how to support their athlete specifically and all athletes as well. Having a second adult helps support athletes of all ages to be their best. Having a sounding board and someone to go to when the coach is busy is very important. I do believe the second person should be an adult, there are so many benefits to having the back-up. They are not a manager and the only duty is to be there and be available.
There is seldom a second coach in my discipline but I do have coaches from other events that I can rely on as well and we always work together, especially when travelling and at big meets. Any club coach is available to any club athlete.
It takes a village….”
Ron Yeung – Basketball – Toronto – 19 years
“The Rule of Two was introduced to my youth program 6 months ago and has been a consistent guideline throughout the season. We introduced it first in our pre-season coach’s meeting and then brought it up at our start-of-season parent meeting as well. The introduction of this rule was well supported by both the coaches and parents, with the understanding that the safety of our young athletes is first and foremost.
With the horrible weather conditions in Toronto this winter, there have been a few instances where my coaches called in sick or notify me that they are stuck on the road and can’t get across town. Sometimes that leaves me in a tough predicament to deal with 12-15 young athletes by myself. In instances like this, I would usually ask a few parents to stay for the session to either assist me on the court or at the very least be an extra pair of eyes from the sideline (should they not be comfortable being on the court and being active). This allows me to keep a good athletes-to-coaches ratio while also ensures that there are multiple adults there should there be any potentially vulnerable situations.”
Pierre Laframboise – Gymnastics – Kingston – 45 years
“We have found supervision in the change rooms challenging at times. Simply trying to ensure that all gymnasts are out of the change room before a coach is not the most ideal situation. We always try to ensure two coaches are in a change room, or one coach and another adult. Also once everyone is out of the change room doors are left open. Another improvement I have suggested is to have coaches and athletes lockers in separate areas so as to reduce the chances of an athlete or coach accessing their locker in the same room or area at the same time without the presence of another gymnast, adult, or coach. This can be a challenge in terms of space and cost for separate lockers and areas or change rooms, but it is well work the investment to reduce risk and the perception of potential risk.”
Professional Development: The Ways Coaches Learn
Coach Education is about much more than which NCCP courses you’ve taken. There are many ways to brush up on your skills, enhance your knowledge and improve your coaching abilities. Formal learning in a classroom is just part of the equation. Below are some of the different ways learning occurs, and how you can track your independent, self-directed ongoing learning in The Locker and get PD points on your coach transcript.
CAO Executive Director Jeremy Cross has made a short video to demonstrate how you can self-report the PD you’ve already completed for up to 8 PD points. Check it out here:
If you are a Certified Coach and require PD points for your Maintenance of Certification, self-reporting your PD is even more valuable. But any coach can get credit for the development they pursue alongside their pathway requirements.
If you have questions or concerns about Maintenance of Certification or PD points tracking in the locker, please visit the CAC’s Maintenance of Certification web page where you’ll find loads of PD opportunities, information about how to read your PD requirements in the Locker, and a handy Frequently Asked Questions section.
Or contact us at the CAO (416) 426-7086 or education@coachesontario.ca
How do you get your Professional Development?
What are some things you’re already doing that you consider valuable. continuous learning or informal learning?
Walter Martindale – Rowing – Cambridge, ON – 35 years
“…Attending Rowing Canada’s National Coaching Conference as often as possible. When in Ontario I tried to attend RowOntario’s conference and CAO conference as well. I also read research papers on training, coaching, technique development, sports psych, and subscribe to the Rowing Biomechanics Newsletter published monthly for the last 18 years by Valery Kleshnev.”
Glenn Gabriel – Curling – Toronto – 13 years
“…There are several ways that I get my Professional Development as a coach.
There are traditional sources, like taking NCCP courses (online and in-person) and attending conferences, both multisport (CAO) and sport-specific.
I read a lot of coaching and teaching-related books, visit several Web sites (e.g., Positive Coaching Alliance) and listen to several podcasts (e.g., Winning Youth Coaching ).
Two “out-of-the-box” ideas:
Al Samsa – Basketball – Mississauga – 30+ years
“Facebook groups. Great places to discuss topics and share experiences in your sport.”
Some thoughts from The Importance of Self-Confidence and Self-Efficacy from Morgan Sullivan
When athletes succeed in high-pressure situations, you’ll inevitably hear people say they have “ice in their veins.” Conversely, athletes who fail in these same situations might be labelled “choke artists.” The difference between the former and the latter is self-confidence.
For athletes, having a high level of self-confidence is as important as the physical skill set needed to perform their sport. We as coaches understand the importance of having our players perform with confidence. The question is, how do we get them to do it?
Some steps outlined by leading sports psychologists include the importance of calling on past success, employing positive self-talk, remaining positive and modelling behaviours of higher-performing athletes. Of all these different strategies, the one I have found most effective is reminding my athletes of their past successes.
Throughout a softball season, I spend a lot of time talking with players about the work they’ve put in and the successes they’ve had. I ask them to tell me about their successes in school, at home and on the field. This reminds them that they have had successes, both on and off the field. This is important because we humans, by nature, remember our failures more vividly than our successes. Recalling a specific big hit or a great defensive play in a big situation is especially effective.
This brings me back to the title of this post: “The Importance of Self-Confidence and Self-Efficacy.” While these terms are commonly thought to be interchangeable, they’re quite different. Self-confidence is an overarching view of one’s own aptitude, while self-efficacy is situationally dependent. Many sports psychologists consider self-confidence to be a personality trait; one that can—and often does—adjust over time.
The major benefit of an increased state of self-confidence is the ability to overtake negative emotions and anxiety. This can be applied in all facets of life. Self-efficacy differs in that it is a concept that can be measured on many different levels. While self-confidence is the broad stroke of the paintbrush, self-efficacy is the fine-tipped pen. Self-confidence is a deeper part of one’s personality; it remains constant over time and shows a slower, more gradual change. Self-efficacy changes much more quickly and can do so from one simple task to another. It’s assigned based on the confidence an athlete has in the immediate skill he or she performs.
Coaches and parents, make sure you understand the difference and support them both. It can be a big deal for your young athletes!
What techniques do you use to help boost your athletes’ self-confidence?
How do you help them perform with confidence?
Richard Samuels – Basketball – Durham – 15 years
“…I think the first thing you want to be able to do with most young athletes is to have them identify both their greatest strengths and weaknesses so that their personal path to being their vision of an ideal player can be defined. Once defined it is really a matter of being there and assisting them in their personal pursuits, making sure that it isn’t a matter of telling them “they can’t do ….because,….” but more of “they can do this if they work on …” by creating a personal action plan for that athlete, and then placing snippets of development to assist that athlete, in your practice plan as a coach, you will be surprised at how empowering that can be for your athletes. I have found It usually results in a more attentive, encouraged and cooperative athlete, as opposed to building a “chip on the athlete’s shoulder”, which only further frustrates the athlete and his teammates.”
Ashok Kumar – Wrestling – Mississauga – 20+ years
“…Believe in yourself
Take a little risk to try
Keep on trying correct move
Test with the best”
Joe Benedetti – Fast-Pitch Softball – Hamilton – 20+ years
“…Ask any coach if he wants a confident athlete and we all know what the quick reply will be – but ask that same coach if they want to develop and train VERY confident athletes and there might be some hesitation. The danger zone is when our athletes and teams become over-confident and in extreme cases – arrogant. That could stem from a lack of respect for their opponents. Surely we only enter athletes in competitions when we are confident that they can compete with confidence – that they have faith and belief in all their training and preparation. All humility stems from confidence. The key message that must be delivered – sometimes with words, but mostly with actions is simply this; ” I believe in you, believe in yourself, get out there and show them what you got !!!”
Meaghan Spykerman – Ringette – Corbeil – 3 years
“…Personally, I found that giving players a say in how they are practising has always helped with their confidence. Usually one or two drills a practice I try and cycle through the players and let them choose one, that way they feel more independent and confident. I also find that boosting them after every shift with compliments (even the smallest ones) can do a lot for their self-esteem too. After a shift instead of bogging them down with everything, they have done wrong I tell them a mixture of good and bad things. However, I try not to give too much criticism that way they are not getting stressed during a game.”
Stephen Catania – Soccer – Toronto – 10 years
“…I would have to agree with the introductory comments made to self-confidence. Those being having your players/athletes remember past successes gained through practice and repetition, using a timeline of sorts that tracks where they were to where they are now. Also using emotion as a detonator that takes frustration, anger and low performance results can positively feed through a determined mindset, goal setting, and plain and simply hard work, can lead to building tangible self-confidence and self-esteem. These are not only valuable on the playing field, but become cornerstones that build a complete athlete/person.”
Thoughts from Jim Thompson’s book: The Power of Double-Goal Coaching
Historically, young people have apprenticed with their parents’ business. My father talked with great joy about going to work in the fields of the family farm with my grandfather at the age of 12. Today there is little opportunity for this, but coaching your own child can be a wonderful experience in working together. Many parents and children look back on their times together on a sports team as some of the best moments of their lives. Here are some tips for making that shared experience a positive one.
Your time coaching your child will pass by very quickly. Whatever happens, I encourage you to stay in the moment and enjoy this special time.
Do you coach your own child?
What are some great ideas for making it a positive experience for everyone involved?
Raj Venugopal – Judo – Ottawa
“…I have coached my three children in Judo. It has been a wonderful experience so far. My kids are 18, 15, and 9 years of age. At times it is a great experience, and at other times it has caused me to doubt my ability as a coach… and as a father! When our interaction on the mat is poor, I try (and sometimes fail) to keep negative thoughts from affecting our home life. In my head, I try to leave what happens on the mat. I also try to not bring our personal and private home life on to the mat. Certain private family matters should stay private. And to make things fun, I try to ask my kids about what games or teaching strategies we can use in class. Lastly, I understand that there is a tendency (especially with young kids) to mistakenly equate their parent coach’s knowledge as their own. When that behaviour shows itself, I try to correct the behaviour on the spot, but not in an embarrassing way. Great discussion topic, and a touchy one for sure!”
Coach Conrad – Basketball – Durham – 10 years
“…I’ve coached my son’s 14U Basketball team for approx 3 years now, and one of the things I try to do is treat all the players as though they are all my child. Both myself and my co Coach have son’s on the team, and we play off each other, and we are unified with how we treat/teach the kids”
Roy Summers – Nordic Skiing – Thunder Bay – 6 years
“…I have involved my child in helping to prepare a lesson at home prior to going to a practice or lesson. While this is not a regular occurrence, it helped my child to understand the effort I put into coaching to ensure a fun and quality experience for all the kids (she also had some really great ideas). It really helped to change my child’s attitude and understanding of sport – now she wants to ensure everyone has a fun time and enjoys coming out to participate. It also led her to understands she has a responsibility to be coached and not parented during the lesson. It was a real win-win for everyone.”
Christina W – Swimming – Hamilton – 5 years
“…My dad was my first coach. Working with family can be very frustrating. It was his passion and the sparkle in his eye when he talked about the sport of swimming and how much it meant to him to be apart of something that he loves so much that inspired me to keep going.”
Lisa Burton – Figure Skating, Hockey and Lacrosse – Northern Ontario – 30+ years
“…WOW, I can not believe this is the topic for discussion.
I have to say both my husband and I have coached both of our children and different times in their lives – 3 years to even now (my daughter is 24). The two children are completely different and we had to take that into account. We had one group of children one season we were coaching Initiation hockey program over 50 skaters on the ice and well it was only at the Christmas party that most of the parents even realized that we had two children of our own on the ice with everyone else. Every child deserves to learn and be challenged, it doesn’t matter if it is your own or not. At the rink for figure skating though my daughter and I did have to learn to separate home, Mom and daughter. So at the rink, she called me “Lisa” this way it did help her more than me when skaters were around that they didn’t feel I was giving her special preferences etc. Looking back on it, I was harder on her so she would know how to work hard, sacrifice and be a leader. Well, she is a Figure Skating coach now too and has thanked me on countless occasions for directing her training the way I did. For our son who we also coached for many years, he has now told us that he didn’t really enjoy any time in sport unless we were coaching him. He saw us giving all Fair Play, teaching new skills, getting the players to excel farther than they could have on their own and in having fun.”
Ken Anstruther ChPC – Taekwondo – Brampton – 30+ years
“…Not all parents should coach their children. It should be dependent on the nature of the relationship and the age of the child and the experience of the coach. If the child experiences, “You don’t love me”, rather than, “you need to rotate your hips”, then better to have another voice express the corrections. The child has lived with the parent and has a powerful emotional connection. The tone of voice, expression, posture and so on could negatively impact the psychological development of the child both as athletes and outside of sport. As coaches, I feel strongly that we have to take a holistic view of our athletes.”
“…I coached both of my children, as well as drove them to other events, such as officiating. My wife would come when they were little, but when they were 8 and up, it was Dad’s job and it was a way for my wife to get a break and have some alone time. It was also a way for me to get to spend some one-on-one time with my kids without rehashing sports things. The only privilege that they received for having me as their coach was to be able to choose their jersey number before anyone else.”
Coach Marko – Soccer and Basketball – Toronto – 15 years
“…Like parenting, there is no magic formula that works in every situation. Each circumstance is unique and must be treated for what it is. I’ve been coaching my son’s soccer team for 4 years and my daughter’s basketball team for 3. The same message I say to some kids on the team doesn’t necessarily resonate the same with my own kids. It’s important to know who they are and how to manage that relationship. Quite often, not knowing the personality, can lead to unwanted tension on the ride home, to the fault of nobody but circumstance. I encourage coach parents to be involved, but be fair and set boundaries. Have open and clear conversation as a coach and parent with your kid(s) so they know that you care no matter what role you take. My final advice does not allow your personal relationship to cloud your decisions as a coach, or unfairly use coaching to deal with parenting problems. This can have an adverse strain on relationships. Meaning to say do not use “I’m your dad so you will…..” when coaching. They are different things altogether and should be treated independently. Not to say you can’t discipline as a parent, but don’t threaten or use sports as a mechanism for life learning as this can be interpreted as unfair by your kid and will only serve to destroy the relationship as a parent and coach. Always be fair, always stay within the guidelines of a coach or parent, do not mix the two. Engage your kid in conversation about how they feel they performed and then ask if they want feedback from a coach or parent. Always, always, always, tell your kid you love them no matter what.”
Chris Caunce – Basketball – Burlington – 25+ years
“…A very important thing I learned coaching my own children (too bad it was number 3 by the time I figured it out) was to stop being coach once you live the gym. When I coached my son I would still be a coach on the ride home and I would point out things he could have done differently to improve. While I was only trying to help my son become a better player, I realized I was really taking the fun out of the game and he could not wait for the ride to end. Coaching my daughter has been a very different approach as taking off my coaching hat as we leave the gym and although I would like to help her and tell her what she could do to get better I simply ask, “did you have fun?”. As she has become older we may have a discussion about the game or practise on her initiative and I make sure to keep my dad hat on to support and help her.”
Coach Manny – Fastpitch – Ontario – 16 years
“…Have another team coach give her instructions even if you are the one who notices and asks the coach to tell her. You are her parent first but treat her like every other player when doing team activities. On the car ride home only talk to her about the game if she brings it up and stays positive. Negative talk will only put stress on your relationship.”
Jesse P – Speed Skating – Ottawa – 9 years
“…I am not a parent coach myself, but I work with mostly parent coaches. I often see kids respond negatively with their parent coaches. When I see this, I speak with the participants and let them know that I am available for them to talk to if they want someone other than their parents. However, I have yet to have any kids take me up on this. I think the problem is that kids think they will be in trouble if they want that space from their parents at practice. I am working to limit interaction between parent coaches and their own kids during practice, but as everyone is a volunteer, it is difficult. I am actually very interested in hearing more about this topic.”
One of the most satisfying experiences in sport or any other domain is being a member of a team that gets along well and works as a cohesive, collaborative unit. When you live, work, and play together in harmony, the chances of enjoying the journey and achieving mutually beneficial goals increase significantly. By committing yourself to interact in simple, positive ways that make teammates feel valued, appreciated, respected, and supported, you go a long way toward improving team spirit, harmony, and performance. […]
When Olympic and professional team performance enhancement consultant Cal Botterill studied the link between mood and performance in highly skilled team athletes, he discovered that team harmony was a key factor in performance. Each athlete’s mood had a direct effect on his or her performance, and athletes on the road often cited positive interaction with their coaches, roommates, and teammates as having a positive influence on their mood and performance.
Some of the Olympic and professional teams I have worked with have had more than their fair share of disharmony and interpersonal conflicts. Some team members felt ignored or left out, some athletes believed that the coach did not respect them or believe in them, and some team members withdrew emotionally or physically from the group. […]
The root of many interpersonal conflicts within team contexts is a lack of commitment to the overriding team mission, a lack of awareness of other people’s feelings, or sometimes a misinterpretation of the actions or intentions of a teammate, colleague, or coach.
Merely being together at meetings, work, practices, training camps, games, competitions, or team parties does not necessarily increase mutual liking or performance harmony among team members. For a genuine positive team spirit to develop and grow, individuals must commit to a common mission or goal and be linked in some positive interdependent way so they know that they have to rely on and help one another to have a chance of achieving their individual and collective goals.
Harmony or compatibility sometimes flows or grows naturally among members of a team. When this ideal circumstance is not present, it is important to discuss the commitment required from everyone on the team to put the bigger mission above any conflict or disharmony so that everyone gives his or her best and supports one another to achieve a worthy, higher-level goal. When all team members make a decision to be supportive, remain flexible, be their best, find good qualities in their teammates, and work together to accomplish mutually beneficial goals, collectively they put their team on the path to harmony and excellence.
Open communication is an important step in preventing and solving conflicts or problems among team members. Respecting another person’s needs, feelings, and perspective is difficult when you do not know or understand what they are. It is never too early or too late to move along a more positive path, turn a negative into a positive, transform wrong into a right, or turn an error into a positive lesson. The best time to begin this performance- and the life-enhancing process is right now.
From In Pursuit of Excellence, Fifth Edition by Terry Orlick
Copyright © 2017 by Human Kinetics Publishers, Inc. Excerpted by permission of Human Kinetics, Champaign, IL. Available to order from Human Kinetics Canada at www.HumanKinetics.com or by calling 1-800-465-7301.
How do you foster and encourage Harmony on your teams or with the athletes you coach?
Martin Cavanagh ChPC – Curling – Hawkesbury – 15 years
“…”Everything on the table “ sessions. Once a week, we round table anything and everything that is good, bad or indifferent with any situation, training plan, teammate or coach. Nothing ever gets to the boiling point because everyone knows and understands to “Park it” until the weekly session. This also allows time to self-resolve. We also have the “Red Button” emergency for issues that must be dealt with immediately. Pushing the red button does mean that you must supply Tim’s coffee and Timbits though!”
Jane Elliott – Rowing, Volleyball, Tennis, Baseball – St Catherines – 30+ years
“…It is important to listen and develop an understanding of common goals. There are many paths to achievement both as a team and for athletes and they need to agree on as many common goals as possible, whether they be long term (season ideals) or short term (behaviour and direction of practices). Once there is some agreement on goals, team bonding and respect will assist in reaching those goals, even if the paths are as individual as the players. This serves all player’s strengths, weaknesses and personalities.”
Bert Zonneveld – Soccer – Guelph – 57 years
“…About 2-3 weeks prior to the start of the season, we have a two-day team bonding event, having given lots of notice to both players and parents, where we invite them and their families to a pot luck lunch on Saturday. After lunch, we have a number of fun-filled games where families interact with one another to get to know each other better. Other than two mothers who stay with us male coaches, the parents leave at around 4-5 pm, leaving their daughters with us for more team-oriented games and challenges. The evening ends with a sort of lip -sync dance routine competition in groups of four. Tents have been set up for the sleep-over. On Sunday, after a good breakfast, the parents pick up their kids at around noon.”
Christina Wall – Swimming – Toronto
“…Swimming is both an individual and team sport. Sometimes a teammate may do better individually and it can cause tension and conflict with others on the team. I have found that fostering harmony with the team is created when we do more team activities and volunteer in the community. The more that my athletes feel a part of the same team and are friends; the more encouraging they are of their teammate’s success and become genuinely excited for them when their fellow teammates do well.”
Joe Benedetti – Fastpitch – Hamilton – 30+ years
“One of my mentors, the late Gil Read of Ottawa, always told me the most important thing he did EVERY year was open up his home and host 6, that’s right, 6, pool parties for the team, parents and siblings. He made it clear everyone was welcome, but the team and players had to organize and agree on the dates and times and plan the food and refreshments. He knew the secret was simply to give the players opportunities to spend time with each other in order to get to know and appreciate their teammates and their families. Gil went on to be a leader on our Women’s Olympic Softball team in Athens in 2004. May his soul rest in peace.”
Lillian Mendoza – Basketball – Mississauga – 27 years
“… We have hosted “team bonding” days and nights as well as team homework time. Ironically, the drama between teammates has developed. Since we developed a genuine family-like relationship among coaches, players and parents, we do some fact-finding by first communicating with the parents then have a heart to heart with each individual before placing them in front of each other to “get it out and leave it out”.”
Steve – Volleyball – London – 7 years
“…@ LVC we foster team harmony in as many platforms as possible. We start every year creating our team’s standards and expectations to ensure we are all on the same page. A few weeks in, once we all know each other better, we as a group create some shared team goals that are congruent with individual goals. A few weeks after that we sit down and create a team mission statement that gets turned into bag tags for all of the girls to read when they feel like we are not working together towards our goals. We continue to check in on our goals and mission statement to ensure it stays relevant and appropriate to us. Finally, we try and do monthly team bonding events. These events are run either by coaches or players. Some ideas have included escape rooms, costume bowling, team dinners and other events. We give the athletes the freedom to plan these events too. When the culture of cohesion is fueled by the athletes, it becomes more authentic and holistic than the forced events by coaches.”
Take a moment to think of the various roles you play and the different hats that you may wear in your day to day coaching. At any given time you could be a team manager, marketer, administrator, office manager, league convener, HR manager, psychologist, facility manager, just to name a few.
There is a lot to do, and often not enough money, time, energy or staff to get it all done. Not only that, but you also need to consider how much time you’re spending wearing each hat.
Depending on the size of your organization/club it can make sense for a few people to inherit and manage many tasks. We become “expert” jugglers at switching from task to task and many jobs, although part of your program, is being done in addition to the actual time spent on a field, deck, court etc.
So while wearing all these hats yourself may seem like an effective strategy, it can become disadvantageous not just for your athletes and program, but for you. Do you find that these other hats take away from your coaching? How easy is it for you to change hats without messing up your hair?
Here are a few ways to help you spend more time coaching and less time juggling
Build a team around you
Be aware of, and open about, your weaknesses. You don’t need to be a genius and expert at everything to be a great coach or run a great club or program. Bring in people who complement your hats by excelling where you struggle. “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.”
Use technology
Let applications and great pieces of technology take the hassle out of keeping track and managing multiple hats by having one closet. This will allow you more time to spend on working with your athletes on the field, deck, court, video room etc. You would be surprised to know that some hats you wear could be combined into one.
Delegate
This plays into the above point of creating and surrounding yourself with a team that you can trust. Delegating some of those hats can help you achieve more in less time, which leaves you more time to coach on the field, deck, court etc.
Coaching is a big responsibility and the role often comes with more than just one hat. The key is balance and learning to separate every part of your job into equally important parts.
How do you manage your many hats while balancing coaching duties?
Do you find the day to day management of your club or team takes away from your coaching?
How would you change it?
Rolf Waffler – Football, Skiing – Thunder Bay – 25 years
“…Having a committed manager who is able to recruit volunteers to fill key positions i.e. fundraising, etc is key. Then as the head coach, you only have to keep tabs on things rather than do it all. It is key that you give the people below you the authority and confidence to do the duties and not micromanage them.”
Connie Groom – Gymnastics – Ottawa – 31 years
“…With many years of coaching and being exposed in 6 Provinces and 1 territory, I have experienced small to large organizations. The saying If I only knew then what I know now, so true. Don’t go it alone, if you need help ask. When you are asked to help make sure you are not putting yourself in a position where you will burn out. Passion needs to be with you as days are long, coaching as we all understand can be tough. The gains of helping our athletes reach their goals should be a priority and everything else will get done eventually. Refer to professionals where the need is and keep your knowledge-based within your level of knowledge. It’s okay to say ” let me get back to you on that” Overall take things 1 day at a time, try to keep work at work, and home at home. Set goals for yourself as a coach, today, the week, the month and stick to it. The best is to make sure you schedule within a week ” me time” and of course if you are in a relationship you need to schedule ” date night”
David Gentry – Basketball – Ottawa – 25 years
“…Back in the day, of my 25 years of coaching, managing a small basketball club, It was up to me and me alone to not only coach but manage all aspects of the club. Registration, signs ups, competitions, scheduling, etc. We didn’t have the fancy things that exist today. Fast forward 25 years and now we have a club administrator and the opportunity to use technology like scheduling, league management, even emailing all from one single app. The only thing I would change is I wish it all had come sooner in my coaching career!”
Lisa Loney – Gymnastics – Waterloo – 10 years
“…There should be a coaching course on how to find and use the best technology. There is a lot out there and some coaches don’t know they exist! I can’t see how any club or team runs without the use of some scheduler like TeamSnap or video software like coaches’ eye or dartfish. It often takes just the chance to see something in action and I would welcome the opportunities to see and hear more about what exists.”
Michael Weiss – Alpine Ski Racing – Ottawa/Gatineau – 49 years
“Perform the roles or functions that are your strengths, delegate tasks that distract you from achieving your priority of the day or week or season. Arm yourself with the best team that supports what you cannot attend to as effectively these might be capable of doing. Trust your team!”
Stephanie Knill – Soccer – Brampton – 1 year
“… I just starting coaching my son’s soccer team this summer. This is the first time I have ever coached and I found that it took much more than I thought it would. I thought I would just come to each session and basically supervise since they were U05. Boy was I wrong. I became a coordinator, communicator, supporter and role model for some awesome young boys. I also had to work with the parents of the team to keep everything on track and organized. This meant staying in constant communication with the league as well.
I found that some of these things did distract from my actual coaching of the team. I found that I became more worried about getting pictures together and communicating information, rather than setting up activities and ensuring the skills are transferred to the kids.
With all of this, it would have been great to have an assistant coach to help take care of the administrative side, so that I could really take the time to focus on skills and the sport.
With all of that said, I wouldn’t give up the experience for anything. I think I may even be coaching this indoor season as well!”
Lee – Figure Skating – Eastern Ontario – 20 years
“…I am a mother as well as my two kids coach. I find it hard to keep my kids separate from the business side and the drama. I have dealt with this by moving to the kid’s dressing room instead of having the kids in the coach’s room.”
Alyne Azucena – Ultimate Frisbee – Toronto – 3 years
“We have a team roles spreadsheet that requires every player to sign themselves up for a position that contributes to the team. This includes sideline match-ups (matching players on and off the field for a defensive ear), team doctor (brings band-aids, pro-wrap, tape, etc.), tournament organizer (book hotels, organize car rides), etc. We make sure to communicate a strong team culture from the beginning and every role is important and appreciated. The delegation takes a huge load off the leadership team!”
Emily Scott – Ringette – Toronto – 8 years
“…if every club/team had enough money to hire an operations manager who ran the website, registration, marketing, community outreach etc, that I feel would go a LONG way to improving how coaches can balance what they are meant to do, and that’s the coach.”
What kinds of technology do you use to manage your athletes and team?
Have advances in technology made coaching easier or harder?
Every day it seems like a new piece of technology comes out and it doesn’t matter what you use, it can be hard to stay up to date. From new phones, electronics, and apps, technology continues to make major changes in almost every part of our everyday lives.
In the world of sports, technology has impacted almost every aspect of playing, watching and coaching. Have those advances in technology made coaching jobs easier or harder? Depending on who you ask, you may get a different answer. In many ways though, technology has increased the demands of coaches from team management and communication, but also created new ways to get the very best out of training and performance of athletes.
Training & Performance
Whether you’re working at the grassroots or high-performance level, technology has greatly impacted the way coaches and athletes train and perform. With the rise in wearable technologies, athlete monitoring systems measuring and tracking athletic progress in real-time, athletes and coaches can see not only how, but how well their athletes are performing at every point in a workout and or competition.
Like a machine, athletes are able to look at a dashboard that shows how their engine is running, and coaches are like their mechanics, fine-tuning the engine to perform at its best.
Communication & Management
With the rise of social media, email and applications, the advances in communications have increased dramatically. The need and ability to share instant updates and information is paramount to the management of one’s team, club or league.
Apps like TeamSnap exist to help coaches save time communicating and managing their teams, clubs and leagues. Acting as a central location for all of your information, you can schedule, communicate and administer every aspect, including registration online rather than paper forms!
Technological advances have enabled coaches to be able to better communicate and manage everyone and all aspects of their team at the click of a button. With better communication comes faster results, timely updates, and winning outcomes.
Video & Analysis
Every electronic device it seems nowadays has a camera and every coach, parent or athlete is equipped with a phone, tablet or recording device.
Everything from smartphones to Imovie, tablets and mobile applications, offers the easy ability to record, review and replay performances instantly. These technological advances have revolutionized the way coaches coach their athletes. With frame by frame analysis and performance metrics available at the press of a button, video continues to offer coaches strategic performance enhancements.
Coaching can be stressful no matter which level, sport or how long you’ve been coaching and new technological advances are there to help your athletes perform better and make your job easier. From advances in training, communication, and analysis, technology will no doubt continue to evolve from where we are today.
How has technology impacted your coaching?
Coach Lisa – Multi-sport- Kingston – 14 Years
“…Advances in technology don’t make our jobs harder, they make them better. Without the video technology (Coaches Eye, Hudl), athlete monitoring or apps like Teamsnap, how can we as coaches be the best we can be for our athletes? It is part of our jobs to be the best coach we can be for our athletes and that involves using time-saving, performance-enhancing (in a positive way) applications and equipment that allows our athletes to shine!…”
Coach Russell – Volleyball – York – 12 Years
“…The hardest part is finding the right ones for you. There are so many out there it can be very hard to find the one that works best for what we do. I have no problem paying for technology that makes our lives easier and jobs more effective, but it is annoying when clubs and organizations cannot see the value in some of the applications that exist. I use CoachesEye for video, TeamSnap for communication and club management and WordPress for our website. I find you cannot just have one piece of technology, as they all cant do it all, but by having a few top-notch pieces parents and your athletes will love it, and you will sleep better at night!…”
Coach Bollers – Hockey – Toronto – 20 Years
“…The majority of players I coach are referred to as Gen Z or iGen, the generation after Millennials. Social Media (Twitter/Instagram/Youtube) has impacted this generation and many are often found wandering the mall, rinks, schools and rinks aimlessly looking down at their mobile devices or tablets. I have nicknamed this generation “Generation looking down” Today players learn better visually than verbally. I have implemented the following teaching aids throughout the season:
I also find it effective to use the following for communication:
Precise and clear communication will help the individual player meet your expectations and exceed their…”
Coach Sam – Baseball – Mississauga – 27 Years
“…Sometimes I feel like we as coaches can become too dependent and complacent and become reliant on technology. Don’t get me wrong I like being able to send a mass team email practice is cancelled or track attendance or schedule practices, each of those are lifesavers to me and other coaches. But we cannot get bogged down in what fancy new gadget exists. Just like in the baseball movie, trouble with the curve, a scout still needs to be able to watch, listen and feel. Some technology is better than others and saves us coaches loads of time, but remember to watch, listen and feel and then use technology to help you help your athletes and teams…”
Coach Jonathon – Toronto – 15 Years
Technology has been an integral part of my coaching practice. As an amateur athlete, my ‘ah-ha!’ moment came following a metabolic test on a cycling erg. I was so fascinated by the science of the VO2 test, that I changed my career path!
As a coach, I have built my practice around leveraging technology to maximize the human engine, based on an athlete’s goals. Combining real-time telemetry with historical data from devices that measure and record performance metrics, along with the ever-evolving platforms that allow for better and better analysis, we are able to look inside that human-machine, infer as to genetic gifts, the shape of engine and level of conditioning. But one of the greatest benefits is to see the potential of all of those elements, and identify when mental and emotional factors are actually the limiters of success. All of this great data, when in the hands of someone who actually understands when it applies and how to apply it, is very powerful.
The flip side is that although most of the metrics collected are vital, they are only helpful in relevant scenarios. Given that just about anyone with a credit card and enough room on it for a good meal, can purchase some of the new wearable tech and access analytic tools online, the combination of data with the lack of education, can lead to harmful training practices and ultimately hinder performance and health.
My advice to anyone who asks about whether to invest in this tech is always the same; If you can afford it, buy it! Put save some of that hard-earned money to hire a coach, so you can get the value of both the tech and the data that comes along with it.
Coach Sandra – Swimming- Ottawa – 22 Years
“…All of the video technology and athlete monitoring has been a great boost to performances. One thing I can say is not having to wake up at 430am for morning practice to ensure everyone knows it’s cancelled is the best thing ever! When now I can send a push notification my Teamsnap app, send a team email to parents etc, that practice is cancelled, or warm-up times have changed, is honestly magic! The best thing technology has done has created better means to communicate. And we all know it is the parents who get the kids to practices and competitions. Happy parents mean more likelihood of success!…”
Coach Ken – Taekwondo – Mississauga – 30 Years
“…Still using Dartfish both laptops and apps. Faster response due to upgraded technology. Many people use video, but not as many use it effectively. Multiple planes of motion viewing are more helpful, but not as easy to get. Have added Whole Body Vibration to add efficiency to tight training schedules. Activation, strength and recovery are all features of this…”
Written by Coach E. & Coach D
How do you evaluate the progress of your athlete’s midseason?
How do you evaluate yourself?
We can sometimes get bogged down in our training maps, yearly training plans, and even with all the planning in the world things still can go array. With any good plan though comes even better evaluation and feedback reporting to track that plan. As we ring in the New Year, now is a great time to evaluate how the season is unfolding for your athletes, parents, and oneself.
1. Your Athletes
I use this opportunity to provide each athlete with a print out of their performance. With numerous competitions completed up to this point, I sit down one-on-one with my athletes and review their performances in relation to their goal set at the beginning of the year. We review practice logs and training habits along with competition performance and determine if the SMART goal needs to be re-set or is on track to be achieved. It is a great opportunity to highlight how far someone has come since the beginning of the year and learn what challenges they are facing.
2. Your Parents
We all know that parents, athletes and coaches make up the triangle of success. The midseason evaluation is just as pertinent to the parents as it is to the athlete.
I make a point to inform the parents in my monthly newsletter that I am having one-on-one meetings with the athletes and providing them with a printout of their progress. It’s as much about evaluating an athlete’s progress as it is providing parents with essential information on their child’s progress. Parents want to know their athlete is being treated fairly and provided with opportunities to succeed. Keeping them in the loop and showing that their child is progressing and has goals for the remainder of the year keeps parents informed as part of the ladder to success.
3. Yourself
It is the learning and growing you do as a coach that can have the biggest positive impact on your athlete’s performance throughout the remainder of the season. I make a point to sit down with my colleagues and discuss not only the progress of the program but for me as an individual. Are there things we could or should be doing differently? Are there things I can be doing differently? What coaching strategies have been successful in training and competition thus far? Remember that as fast as time flies, this time also serves as a reminder to you of just how far your athletes have come.
Although we would love to just sit back and relax and watch those plans come to fruition, unfortunately, our amazing jobs don’t come that easy. But hey it’s true in what they say; if it was easy everyone would be doing it!
Do you have a midseason evaluation?
How do you monitor and evaluate your athlete’s midseason? What tips do you have to evaluate yourself?
Coach Pierre – Gymnastics – Kingston – 44 Years
“…At our club, we have a mid-year meeting with our pre-comp and competitive athletes and their parents to discuss progress, plans, and any concerns. With athletes who are adults, it is also a good idea to include other supporting staff such as their sports nutritionists, physiotherapist, psychologist, or other treatment specialists in the meeting as well. If the athlete is at a level where they have a financial advisor their involvement in the mid-year review can help ensure that the financial resources will be in place for the remainder of the season to meet the athlete’s needs. This puts everyone on the same page and gives the athlete the peace of mind to focus on their training…”
Coach Joe – Softball – Hamilton
“…I have tried, from time to time, a ridiculously simple technique, around mid-season: Simply ask:
Where are we?
How did we get here?
Where do we want to go?
If we can get the athletes to critically reflect on these questions, and honestly share their thoughts and feelings and hopes for the rest of the season, then maybe, just maybe – together we can make it happen…”
Coach Rob – Swimming – Etobicoke – 4 Years
“…I use this time of year in my sport to re-set expectations for both parents and the athletes. Goals are meant to be broken, and the processes you set back in September need to be monitored and re-examined at this time of year to highlight the positives and areas needed to continue to be worked on. It also is a great time for me as a coach, to re-evaluate my strategies and what has been for the past 5 months is working. What is the feedback from parents, my athletes and colleagues?…”
Coach Lisa – Hockey – Ajax – 7 Years
“…It doesn’t matter just what we think as coaches, but what do your athletes and parents think? This is a perfect time to ask how do they think things have gone so far. What has worked, what hasn’t worked and how are we going to build towards achieving the goals set for the end of the year? What can we change, from not only a coaching side but athlete and parents perspective…”
The True Meaning of Competition – (Written by Multi-Sport LF & Coach Joe)
What is the true meaning of competition?
What do you want your athletes to take away from competition?
There is nothing so unsure as a sure thing. As they say on the Pro-Line commercials, “Because anything can happen, anyone can win.” Anything can happen in a competition, and it usually does.
Your team might be highly favoured to win, you might be bigger, stronger, faster, older, more experienced or whatever, BUT there is no such thing as a sure win. The result is always in doubt, upsets happen – often. That’s why they play the game. Underdogs become Top Dogs. The vanquished become victorious. David did defeat Goliath – you can look it up. The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. Teams often surprise their favoured opponents, with increased focus and motivation.
So guard against complacency. Respect all opponents. Play hard, Get ahead early, Don’t let the opposition “hang around”
Play fair and practice good sportsmanship always, but when you think about it, the most sincere way to respect your opponents is to show them your best effort at all times. Regardless, upsets will happen – you can only do your best to reduce their frequency!
So when they happen, make no excuses, and congratulate your opponent on their hard-won victory. They deserve no less.
In his book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Robert Fulghum says:
“About winning: It isn’t important. What really counts is how you play the game. About losing: It isn’t important. What really counts is how you play the game. About playing the game: Play it to win!”
Teams will learn lessons. There are no mistakes only lessons. Lessons will be repeated until learned.
Be the type of player and team than learns lessons quickly. Play with passion. Play with purpose. Play to dominate.
How do you inspire your athletes to understand the meaning of competition?
Coach Silvia – Sport Climbing – Toronto – 5 Years
“…I often aim to keep my athletes focused and relaxed, we review their warm-up and ensure they are clear about what they need to do to be ready. When we debrief about how their performance was I ask how they felt about their effort, as long as they feel like they truly gave 100% then they achieved what they came to do. Try their hardest, stay focused and enjoy the challenge…”
Coach Edward – Karate – Ottawa – 12 Years
“…I strive to have my athletes understand that competition is a means to an end. it is not the end result of today that matters, but the result you want for tomorrow is what you are working towards. Everything had a purpose, and each race, no matter how big or small provides opportunities to learn not only about performing better but learning about yourself…”
Coach Gordon – House League Hockey – Ottawa
“…This is a challenging issue in non-competitive (house) leagues. We deal with the notion of participating versus being competitive. The challenge is inspiring everyone to be as competitive as they can be while dealing with the mindset that they are only involved to have fun. Have fun and be competitive at the same time…”
Coach Michael – Basketball – Durham
“…While we have all hoped of winning the championship, losing in the National High School Championships, I looked at the bigger picture of what we had achieved. We did not win the championship trophy but we got a lot of respect from our opponents, coaches and organizers. Organizers were so impressed with how we carried ourselves during the course of the tournament that we got an automatic slot for next year’s championship. We will always treasure the lessons learned and the experience we have gained. We made lots of friends and followers. With this, I came to realize that winning was not all about the championship trophy but finding peace and pride knowing we did our best and gave it all…”
Coach Louisa – Swimming – Windsor – 4 Years
“…The Greek meaning of ‘competition’ means to ‘strive with.’ Competition is meant to make each other better. Every time you step into a ring, on a field or in a pool, it is an opportunity to better yourself. Remembering that although there are a winner and a loser, in the end, you strive to be better for having to compete…”
To Maximize Development, Change Your Mindset – By Beth Barz
Do you believe that only perfect practice makes perfect performance?
What is the right coaching mindset?
“Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect performance,” once said Vince Lombardi. Is that your mindset, too?
In the case above, Lombardi expected perfect execution of every repetition, even in practice. This is a very plain example of the “fixed mindset” popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, where the focus on expectations of success outweighs the mistakes made in the learning process. There is definitely a time to focus on perfect performance in practice yet this type of standard can cause more damage than good when employed with youth. So, what if coaches like Lombardi changed their mindset on practice?
Instead, by encouraging a mindset that favours growth through failure and the grit (Duckworth 2006) to keep working through multiple practice opportunities, we can instill both positive life lessons and the ability for our athletes to think at the moment when pressure-filled competition circumstances arise. This type of environment can be created when a coach changes their own mindset on the purpose and outcomes of practice.
Further, coaches who use a question-based approach in their coaching (Kidman et all 2001) will model the way for athletes who feel stifled by specific directions and the mile-high expectations for immediate success. The mindset here is that the coach focuses on the needs of the athlete and allows the athlete or team to drive the practice goals. This occurs while the coach simply guides and supports through identifying the next step in the learning process as it presents itself. Rigid outcomes become less of a focus and athlete learning becomes the primary goal.
Allowing athletes to fail in their learning and to be an active part of the practice process ensures that they stay engaged and learn even more deeply during practice. The mindset of perfect execution of a skill or tactic can be changed to allow for many more opportunities for athletes and for coaches to grow. To do this, coaches need to change their mindset about perfect performance at all times.
References: Dweck, C. S., (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House. Duckworth, A., (2016). Grit: The power of passion and perseverance. New York: Scribner. Kidman et al., (2001). Developing Decision Makers: An empowerment approach to coaching. Christchurch: IPC Print Resources.
What is your mindset in practice and training?
Do you believe “only perfect practice makes perfect performance?”
How do you develop a positive coaching mindset?
Coach Travis – Tennis – Grimsby – 11 Years
“…My mindset is the creation of a learning environment that is conducive to learning from failure but practicing with a purpose. This practicing with a purpose drives continuous improvement in athletes, driving them to be “perfect.” Without failure, one cannot learn, but without a purposeful purpose one cannot achieve positive outcomes leading to perfection…”
Coach Lisa – Synchronized Swimming – Toronto – 6 Years
“…It depends on the age group you are working with and a balance is needed. Certainly, the idea of perfect practice is important, ie not practicing a drill consistently wrong, but instead teaching how to do it correctly. However, failure during practice leads to closer perfect performance. One must learn from failure to achieve “perfection”…”
Coach Norm – Baseball – Ottawa – 15 Years
“…While I do believe that perfect practice does make for improved performance, the notion of perfect performance does not exist. A famous coach I once heard said even though their athlete broke a record, the coach felt they could have done better. Even though this so-called “perfect” performance of breaking a record and reaching the podium was achieved, failure still exists. The very nature of the sport is continued persistence to “perfection” by learning from one’s own mistakes and demise. You never get too high or too low, but instead, learn from each to improve performance…”
Coach Wendy – Swimming – Toronto – 7 Years
“…Certainly, with little kids, I teach practice does not make perfect. We instill that practice and training must have a purpose leading to the desired outcome. Whether it is a technical component such as a drill, or an intense workout, simply going back and forth does not make you better. It is the goal and purpose of each piece that contributes to your performance outcome at a competition…”
Some tips and tricks to parental involvement – By Jessica Cunha – Skating Coach
Parents are an athlete’s number one fan; driving them to all of their practices, games and competitions, encouraging them during times of self-defeat and pushing them to be the best versions of themselves. So how can we have parents feel like an integral part of the association?
Building and maintaining parental relationships allows parents to develop a sense of connection that increases their loyalty and trust in the organization. This not only helps to grow and retain membership but also positively impacts club culture.
Volunteer Opportunities
Encourage parents to volunteer for club events. Volunteers not only help alleviate extra duties, but volunteering will allow parents to feel a sense of responsibility as they contribute to the success of an event. Alternatively, encouraging them to volunteer as board members is also beneficial. Parents will be able to provide insight from their perspective that may have been overlooked when running programs. They can also relate to other parents and help ease their transition into the new environment.
Communicate!
The key to any good relationship is open communication. Provide meetings at the beginning, middle and end of the season to discuss what parents can expect from you as a coach, what you expect from their athlete, and what the parents expect from you. You can also utilize this time to talk to parents about the importance of putting down the technology. Often times I have had my athletes looking at their parents after a great execution of a skill, only to be disappointed when they see them playing games on their tablet. Communication between the athlete, coach and the parent is a triangle, the more communication, the better the experience.
Educate
Offer monthly workshops where you can utilize what you have learned from your NCCP training courses. Teach parents about proper nutrition for their athletes and psychological practices they can do at home such as envisioning their routine. Something I personally enjoy doing is giving my athlete a book filled with exercises they need to work on at home and have their parents understand the positioning to look for as they execute it. Some parents even join in on the exercises!
How do you engage your sports parents?
How do you build and maintain positive parental relationships? What are some best practices, tips or tricks you use to keep parents engaged?
Coach Edward – Baseball – Thunder bay – 11 Years
“…Communicate, communicate, communicate. Did I mention communication? Put yourself in their shoes, and think about what would you want to know. Or better yet, ask! Have a meeting, ask the parents what they would like to hear about, how often and in what form. But go into the meeting with a general idea of what you would like to share with them. Now they are part of the solution and not the problem. Parents want to know that their child matters, and is important to you, the coach. The parent is part of the triangle of success, it takes an athlete, a coach and parents to achieve success…”
Coach Sally – Soccer – Ajax – 7 Years
“…Encouraging parental volunteers is always tough. We found a way at our club that really works. We give discounts to families who volunteer. The more you volunteer, the more they save, up to a certain degree of course. We give away things such as savings on equipment, registration fees, travel discounts; who don’t like to be rewarded! We find it is a very effective way of saying thank you, but also works as the incentive to get people in the door, so to speak, and involved with the club…”
Coach Sue – Swimming – London – 6 Years
“…I always have 2 meetings per year; one at the beginning and one-half way, to deliver my expectations, your role as a parent, what we plan to achieve and why we do things the way we do, answer questions. I find that it really helps alleviate parent questions, especially at the start of the year when you have a new coach for the year, travel trips planned etc. ON top of this I send monthly newsletters with all information upcoming about competitions, practice changes, what we have been working on and where we are going. Parents just want to be kept in the loop, and most are very appreciative of the constant updates…”
Coach Marg – Figure Skating – Kawartha Lakes
“…Regularly communicate by email as sometimes sets of parents have some pretty set views on how things should be. By emailing they have the opportunity to digest what could be coming down the pike and enter a meeting with some times less adverse positions…”
